Stories

Lana Panflow – Dancer

Lana finished Year 13 in 2003. This is her story.

I was a keen broadcasting/media/drama student, but also did well in other academic areas and was offered the position of deputy head girl in 2004. I turned this down, despite a few eye brows being raised, because I wanted to continue further on my dream of becomming a proffesional dancer, and therefore began full time intensive training in 2004.

While at Aranui I went on the STATIC Leadership course, and then the BRAVO camp where a selected few were chosen to become team leaders for the following STATIC camp the next year. I still look back on those camps as being challenging, but rewarding in so many ways. Its a shame the funding side of it could not keep the camps running. I was thankful to have so much teacher support of my passion for dance, Michelle Gourley, Sarah Carswell, Lloyd Carpenter and Amelia Andrews to name a few. I believe having encouragement and honest feedback about your chosen career from people at school is very important. You cant assume they are recieving this at home and in their social circles.

I trained for 2 years full time at the International Ballet Academy, then before beginning my 3rd and final year I was informed of the school closing down because of finiancial reasons. After a very stressful 3 weeks, and sending video auditions to Australia, I was accepted straight into 3rd year at the Australian Conservatiore of Ballet in Melbourne. The heart ache that went into achieving the Diploma in Classical Ballet and Performing Arts was huge. I had all the desire in the world to be the best dancer I possible could be, but the negativity in that school was particulary challenging – physically and emotionally. Its hard to describe actually. Waking up everyday, going to the dance academy actually dreading it because you fear what the tutors will throw at you – over body images, technique not up to standard etc, but for some reason you keep going back….why? Because becoming a proffesional dancer is your dream, and passion, and you will fight to the bitter end for all the hard work you put in.

Around August 2006 I realised I was actually in quite a depresive state – which is far from what the ”bubbly Lana” is usually like. It came down on me like a ton of bricks and I knew I had to make some changes, before I would become like all of the others who ended up leaving that school and quitting their dream forever, as a result of the mental suffering. I heard about an audition for the Royal New Zealand Ballet Company, for their season of Giselle. It was a company I had looked up to since I was 5yrs old. They were coming on tour to Melbourne in exactly 4 weeks, and I took the plunge after work late one night (waitressing most evenings to pay the bills!) and sent an email to the company asking if I could do a private audition while they were in Melbourne. They replied saying that it was possible. So now I had a goal. It was an opportunity to get out of school sooner, and go on my path to achieving my dream. I didnt tell the school I was going to audition, but over the next few weeks my whole envionment changed. The teachers were suddenly helping me and encouraging me like there was no tomorrow, and I could notice dramatic improvements in all areas – technically, artisticaly and mentally. I did the audition feeling good, and getting the contract with the RNZB was a dream come true. 6 weeks before hand I would have just laughed at the thought.

After touring NZ performing Giselle with the company I returned to Melbourne and free lanced proffesionally with PROJECTions Dance Company, Ballet Theater Victoria and was the principal guest artist for Regional Academy of Performing Arts in their season of the Nutcracker. It was always a huge goal of mine to dance proffesionally in Europe, so I saved my pennies, sent 100’s of CVs away for audition applications and in Janurary 08 I flew to Holland. Jan – April was filled with auditions all over Europe.

It’s a hard road, but I was preparing myself for that and despite turning up to company audtions with 500 other dancers and only one contract, I still gave my best. Giving up was simply not an option. Yes, its disheartening knowing that you probably are not even being seen amongst all the people, but if you have the drive and self belief, its worth it.

I decided to base myself in Holland (having a Dutch passport is a huge bonus) and I also have a lot of extended family here from my mothers side. I took classes all over the place and tried to build up some sort of network and get my name out there. I gained my first contract with Harlekijn Dans Theater, which is directed by a very famous Dutch musician – Herman Van Veen. I then got a contract with de KISS Moves in Amsterdam, which is a fusion dance company combining classical ballet, urban/hiphop and modern/contemporary dance. Then I got a contract with 2daPoint, which is also a fusion dance company. There are 5 dancers – one hip hopper, one breakdancer, one contemporary, one neo classical, and Im the token ballerina – the classical dancer. We mix all the styles up and have a range of different shows that we have created ourselves, which is a huge bonus because choreography is another great passion of mine. We also travelled to Poland recently to perform, and will be touring to Poland again in Feburary 2009.

I finished the year off with another season of the Nutcracker – this time with a company called De Dutch Dont Dance Devision in The Hague. Its hard to believe I’ve been in Europe for almost 1 year, and here I am, freelancing in 4 different companies in Holland, tackeling the language barriers head on and learning every step of the way, meeting amazing people and having the time of my life.

As cliche as it sounds I will always call NZ home, but I will stay in Europe as long as I can…theres so much I want to see, do, and achieve here – why? Because I want to take my knowledge back to New Zealand and inspire other up and comming artists – actually anyone for that matter – to believe in themselves and chase after their dreams. My mission :

• Don’t go where the path may lead, instead go where there is no path and leave a trail.
• Don’t limit your challenges, instead challenge your limits!

Because I have already written some sort of newspaper (English was also a favourite subject of mine at school :p ) I will continue with just one more thing. I have been writing a lot over last couple years, I guess you could call it some sort of diary. I want to share one of my entries:

Think BIG. Nothing is impossible! My philosophy in life.. Dreaming and believing… Anyone can dream, but puting dreams into reality is not only something that takes guts, but strength and on going determination. People can tell you your dreaming too big, and try to shut you down, and if you listen to them then your dreams will be gone just like when you wake up in the morning. We must BELIEVE in dreams, to be able to achieve them. That way, when people try to put us down, we are stronger, and use that negative thought as a driving force to strive towards our dreams even more. Life’s journey is entirely in our own hands, I dont believe in ‘lucky people’ and ‘good timing’ – its sheer hard work and passion that makes you keep striving towards your dreams and goals. We gotta follow our gut instincts, even if it means going against other people opinions, and learn from EVERYTHING. the good, and the bad. Dont ever think something is impossible. My parents always told me everything happens for a reason, and its so true. Whatever doesnt break you will only make you stronger, and remember that your true friends will always be there for you, no matter how far away you may be, and how long its been since talking to them face to face, as long as you just be yourself, be honest and keep believing in your dreams, your true friends will always be there for you. And yeah, some ”friends” may turn their back on you, but hey, thats life’s journey, but use the good and bad times with those people to only make you stronger and keep truckin on your own path. If you are being honest to yourself, and to them – no one can accuse you of being fake. So stuff all the people who tell you you cant, or you’ll never make it. They obviously are not happy with their own life, and therefore try to bring others down with them. Life if awesome. LIVE IT!! Whats the point of arrivng in the box at the end of it all in a well preserved body etc, why not skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting ”Woah man what a ride!” Challenge your limits, dont limit your challenges. Dont go where the path may lead. Instead go where there is no path and leave a trail. Dont be a walking apology! A ship is safest when its in the harbour, but thats not what it is built for… Its easy to love something you believe is perfect. The challenge is to go on loving, even when you realise its not. How can you fly like an eagle when your sourrounded by turkeys? Even if your on the right track, you can still get run over if you sit down. If you see a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it.

I was performing with 2daPoint in a school the other day (Huizen, Holland) and after the show we had a question/answer session with the student – which really puts my dutch to the test! One student (15yr male) asked us something along the lines of ”what does life mean to us?” We all answered one by one, and all of our views were comming from a different angle. I had never been asked such a question in the school performances before, and I’m so glad I did!

I want to inspire other kids to follow their dreams.